Baazicha e atfaal hai dunya merey aagey
Hota hai shab o roz tamasha merey aagey
Kiran Kahani is meant to be an informal notebook in a diary format which will be revised on a yearly basis in January and the previous year’s version will then be shifted to the categories section / homepage.Until then, scroll down to read tid bits from my take on all things from this year’s ‘life’.
22/09/2012 Yaum e Ishq e Rasool and random thoughts.
And now apparently we need a day full of carnage to show the world how much we love our Prophet (PBUH). What is the whole point of having a day for something? The point is to ‘point out’ that these are people, facts, events that need to be noticed. The Prophets are above all of that. We don’t have a Love Our God day so why now a Love Our Prophet day?
Religion and politics. Undoubtedly two of the most personal and sensitive sentiments known to mankind. Some add that cricket is just another such hard pie crust – soft inner sentiment and must be added to that list. Without getting into the harangue of Pakistan being created as a secular state or Pakistan being created as an ‘Islamic democracy’ let us think and hopefully eventually act on what we WILL it to be for us now and for the coming generations. The ones who conceived this state did not follow their forefathers in deciding what it needs to be – or else we would not even exist in this part of the world today with a separate identity and call ourselves Pakistani. Yet the future we seem to be moving fast towards, considers mind without meaning and emotions without thought.
I asked my father this question in a conference as a four year old and he asked his audience to answer it. No one really could. Needless to say I ended up getting several pats on the back and coochie coos as a result. Today I ask myself that question again. How in the whole wide world does having conferences in hotel ballrooms and giving lovely speeches on social issues with fancy dinners and the whole razzmatazz actually solve the said issue? Any answers without the cooing? And if you’re going to tell me it creates ‘dialogue’ and ‘spreads awareness’, save it.
Today we are out in the open displacing inner rage in the name of our Islamic honour. Where is our honour when people die in hospitals because they happened to be in a protest in the name of peace? The list is endless. Time to get to work. The ones who want to do something, do it. For to them even time given up in ‘protests’ is time wasted.
17/07/2012 Pointing fingers…
Na thi haal ki jab hame’n apne khabar, rahe dekhte auro’n ke aib-o-hunar, Pari apni buraaeo’n par jo nazar, tau nigah mei’n koi bura na reha (Zafar).
Dedicated to all of us who will not hesitate to point a finger elsewhere and in doing so even flout what we stand for. Those very pious ones who will point at a lady for choosing her mode of dress – be it a veil or a mini and forget that either way they are still doing something known as ‘staring’ – impolite, even if religion is stripped off. Those who tell others what they ‘should’ do and forget that their ‘should’ may not be the ‘right’ one for the other. Those who stab behind the back and goggle at the notion of being talked about in any terms other than the best. Those who lie blatantly on the face and smile still. Those who conceal information and those who ignore others on purpose. The list of our indiscretions is endless… and while these may seem like minor concerns, the pain and the suffering they cause is like a heart cut open in the psychologist’s office … bleeding within itself.
May this Ramadan help to bring light into our lives. The light of love, tolerance and above all – of respect. For the ones who we think deserve it and for the ones whom we think do not. For what we think does not matter. He alone knows what does, and who does and to what extent. And to Him we turn and return – In this world and in the hereafter.
20/05/2012 Satyamev Jayate – Insight pills for the male dominated society we live in.
When will men respect women for who they are rather than what they can give them? Hats off to the Satyamev Jayate show. More than a warning to those girls about to get married and their well meaning parents. So many girls like K* who suffered her husbands’ physical and emotional abuse till the end all in the name of money he wanted from her doting father and like N* who committed suicide after receiving continuous texts from her would be husband calling her fat and ugly. No one has the right to make any other feel inferior. Sadder still that these incidents could have been avoided if the girls had only talked about it while they could. We must BREAK THE SILENCE.
Many ask me regularly about the psyche behind the abuse of women. There isn’t just one theory that fits all. But the alpha male approach and its underlying power play along with the unwritten traditions of the society we all live in play an important role in determining the mental mindset. It is even more ironic that it is the females who unwittingly determine this mindset by presenting themselves as weak and ultra submissive models in front of their sons and next by rationalizing their sons’ behaviour to their daughters-in’law by saying that this is something all females go through so why is she complaining?
There are so many circumstances in which a woman chooses to stay silent, or hopes for things to get better or believes in the power of love as a cure – all, or worries about her ailing parents and what they will feel if they find out, worries about log kya kahein gey, or worries about the future of her children etc. The examples and reasons are endless. Still, silence isn’t the solution and we must understand that, as it drowns one in despair. We all need to feel loved and cared for, and if this care doesn’t come from the partner than there has to be another outlet of some kind or the result will be a mental breakdown. Sharing may not save everything and be the panacea for all issues but it is better to have the feeling of some support, catharsis and understanding than none at all.
As psychologists we counsel such females daily and I know that it takes real courage for the females to come forth with these stories on the public forum. May this show help sanity prevail.
26/01/2012 On Human Embryo Research and the Food Industry
I just came across an article posted by a friend and the title was enough to cause a sense of revulsion, not to mention concern at exactly what we may be consuming in the name of food. A second look caused me to think again, not with revulsion but rather with what we do in the name of science. http://gawker.com/5879254/which-companies-are-using-aborted-human-fetuses-in-their-food .
Apparently,the title here is misleading and the content mollified my reaction – slightly. The listed food companies are reportedly working with other companies using embryonic stem cell research to develop artificial products and flavours. An old concept re-packaged as new. Reminds me of a cheese someone gave us from USA and even after 3 months not one bit of it had gone stale. Real cheese wouldnt even last for half the time. And I’m not saying that this in any way makes it alright to use human embroynic stem cells for artificial products. Goes against the very laws of nature. God knows what we are eating these days. No wonder carcinogens attack our system so easily and people seem to be developing cancer almost as much as influenza. One of the benefits of living in the third world (as many I have spoken to put it) may in the end be that we can still eat desi eggs and get fertilizer sprayed but still relatively fresh food most of the time. As for the progress we make in the name of science, only God knows how it may lead to our own downfall if used without thinking. Some races in the past inherited ‘abnormality’ due to ignorance – lead poisoning as a result of eating in lead plates. We, the knowledgeable, will either nuke our existence out of the earth or poison ourselves six feet under.